LOGS
"Titan's Exodus" - by Arin Lastufka

Author's Notes:
This is the first Hyperion episode. Yes, I wanted to fool with that very conventional problem of parallel universes, but the little green (but not fuzzy) blob aliens are original. Plus, we got to eat the "green alien" jello after shooting! (Jello's great for aliens - you can make it wiggle very convincingly.) My views on Starfleet regulations are also expressed, and I provide suggestions for improving Vulcan meditation. Please laugh a lot.


Characters:
Captain Cecelia "Ceil" Lastufka
First Officer Commander T'Roc
Chief Engineer One of Six "Six"
Tactical Officer Ensign Rosalynn McKay
Science Officer Lieutenant Tanya Ramon
Chief Medical Officer Lieutenant Sri Chandra
Helmsman Ensign Michael Anderson
Inspector Saavik
Havoc
Admiral Hamilton

Teaser: Bridge: Things fall down, blink, provide the idea of a catastrophe. Finally all goes dark. Crew gets flashlights. Capt. is on floor, covering head wound.

McKay: Captain? Are you all right?
Ceil: Uggggffff.
McKay: Captain!?
Ceil: (fiercely) I'm fine, Ensign. Give me a report on Tactical.
McKay: Ma'am, I can't see a thing. My screens are down.
Ceil: Where's Six?
T'Roc: One of Six is in Engineering. Lieutenant Ramon is in the Astrophysics Lab.
Chandra: (over communicator, staticky) All injured personnel, report to Sickbay. All injured personnel, report to Sickbay.
Ceil: (slapping commbadge) Captain to Engineering.
Six: (staticky) Engineering.
Ceil: Get me some power.
Six: Main and auxiliary power matrixes are off line.
Ceil: Main or auxiliary, I don't care. Just get it on!
Six: It will take some time.
Ceil: (groans and slumps into seat): Bridge to Sickbay.
Chandra (saticky): Captain, power is completely out. I hate this!!
Ceil: How are you treating your patients?
Chandra: Well, how do you think I would treat them, bad? I use the ancient Indian herbal remedies!
Ceil: (discouraged) Well, carry on.
Chandra: Shall I bring up some coffee?
Ceil: For what?
Chandra: Special remedy for catastrophies!!

Act One, Scene One. Holodeck with house and backyard. Camera goes with Lastufka to table where Admiral is waiting.

Ceil: Captain's Personal log, stardate 7836.19. Admiral Hamilton has - invited - me to meet her - probably something about my last catastrophe. I'm not certain why she picked this particular setting, but I am certain that it was designed to put me entirely at my unease. And I am certain that I won't enjoy this interview (comes to view Admiral) You asked to see me, sir? (camera shows straight ahead)
Admr: Captain Cecelia Lastufka?
Ceil: Yes, sir.
Admr: At ease, Captain (camera looks around). Sit down. (Sits, then Ceil, and pours drinks.)
Admr: Lastufka, I've been going over your last reports and logs.
Ceil: (laughing nervously) Sir, that could be dangerous.
Admr: (with meaning) For you.
Ceil: Sir?
Admr: I've noticed an increasing lack of respect for Starfleet ordnances throughout your missions of the last five years.
Ceil: (protesting) Admiral! My mandate, directly from you, incidentally, is to perform high-risk missions. This requires a certain... freedom.
Admr: There is freedom, and there is overstepping boundaries. You command falls into the latter category.
Ceil: Sir.... the circumstances... made another course of action... impossible.
Admr: Lastufka, I've had enough. You have one last chance to redeem yourself. If you fail, you'll be commanding freighters.
Ceil: Isn't....
Admr: (leans forward into camera) You heard me, Captain! Either shape up... or ship out. (Stands, then Ceil, and exits)
Ceil: Computer, end program. (computer beeps, changes to holodeck grid.)

Scene Two: show Hyperion in space dock. Cut to mess hall. Drinks and PADDs. T'Roc, Ramon, and McKay.

T'Roc: We're to investigate a spatial anomaly there.
Ramon: (takes PADD): Should be interesting.
McKay: (gloomily) There's nothing to blow up. (brightens) Except the anomaly!
Ramon: I refuse to let you blow up my anomaly!
McKay: Your anomaly?
T'Roc: Lieutenant Ramon, as the science officer, will naturally play the main role in the upcoming investigation.
Ramon: Naturally. But maybe we'll be attacked. You can never be too sure.
Computer: Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert!
McKay: All right!
T'Roc: (warning) Ensign...
McKay: (hits commbadge) McKay to security. Report!
Security: Intruder on the bridge. (McKay jumps up)
McKay: On the bridge!! (pulls out phaser)
T'Roc: Ramon, to the bridge. McKay, seal all doors. (all rush out)

Scene Three. Ramon, with phaser drawn, rushes on to the bridge. Saavik is confronting Lastufka. Havoc is running around.

Ceil: Off my bridge, off my ship, I don't care who you are!
Ramon: (coming up behind Saavik, pointing phaser) I strongly suggest you do as Captain Lastufka says.
Saavik: Starfleet regulation clearly dictates that an inspector be treated courteously. I am afraid phasers do not qualify. (Ramon steps away)
Ceil: That (flicks finger) to Starfleet regulations. Off!
Saavik: Captain, I-
Ceil: Off! Go!
Saavik: Your contempt for Starfleet regulations is exactly why Admiral Hamilton has asked me to accompany you on this mission.
Ceil: No. (drops into chair) Get.... out. I don't take stowaways.
Havoc: Captain, message from Starfleet!
Ceil: Where did you come from?
Havoc: I'm Captain Kirk!
Ceil: (laughs, points at Saavik) And she's Saavik, right?
Havoc: (happily) Voice only! Admiral Hamilton!
Ceil: Who made you my communications officer? And cabin boys are out of date. (pauses) Admiral Hamilton!
Admr: Ah, Captain, I'm glad to hear you've met Inspector Saavik.
Ceil: (blankly) Inspector Saavik?
Admr: And, of course, her nephew Havoc.
Ceil: Oh, Captain Kirk? Sure, Admiral.
Saavik: Captain Kirk, I regret to say, has not existed for several decades.
Admr: Lastufka, I hope you aren't treating this as you have treated so many other situations - like a joke.
Ceil: Admiral, with all due respect, you don't expect me to believe that this ... this... thing is serious!!
Admr: Lastufka, listen closely. Inspector Saavik, and her nephew, will be accompanying you on this mission. Have I made myself clear?
Ceil: (bitterly) Yes, sir.
Havoc: Transmission end, sir!
Saavik: It is quite logical, Captain. I'm surprised that you deny your Vulcan heritage. I found your remarks quite irrational.
Ceil: (Ramon by now has slipped out during the havoc. Ceil changes to imitate Ramon) I'm afraid you're mistaken. Humans learn not to believe everything they see. Oh, and get off my bridge. Go inspect the mess hall. And get Captain Jerk away from my comm station.
Havoc: Kirk!

Scene Four. Hyperion traveling through space. Messhall. McKay, T'Roc. Ceil enters

T'Roc: Ceil, please explain the conversation between yourself and the Admiral.
Ceil: Oh, her!
McKay: (puzzled) Captain?
Ceil: It's quite simple. Admiral Hamilton has a personal grudge against me. In all honesty, it doesn't really interfere in her work, but she thinks I've overstepped boundaries one too many times. She's threatening to reassign me if I don't toe the line.
T'Roc: That would explain the presence of Inspector Saavik.
McKay: (curious) Why does she have a grudge, Captain?
Ceil: (Trying to find a way to tell) Uhhhh…. How do I say this? (Takes a drink) Right. You know T'Roc and I were at the Academy together?
McKay: Sure.
Ceil: In our third year - well, my fifth, really - in T'Roc's third year we had to do survival training, I think it was somewhere in the Ukraine. Admiral Hamilton, Commander Hamilton back then, was the commanding officer. To begin with, she really didn't want to do it - C.O. for a bunch of green kids. (T'Roc startled.) I spoke figuratively, T'Roc. That's when she started - well - having it in for me.
McKay: What did you do, ma'am?
Ceil: Well …errr … I and a couple others ate her cat.
McKay: You what?
T'Roc: It's true. I watched them do it.
Ceil: (defensively) It was survival training. You gotta do what you gotta do.
McKay: Was she mad?
Ceil: She was furious - even more so because I didn't get in trouble.
McKay: Why not?
Ceil: It was survival training.
McKay: Why'd she bring her cat, ma'am?
Ceil: It's beyond me!

Scene Five: Bridge. McKay, Ceil, Six, and Havoc. Ramon is off camera.

Havoc: Wow!!
McKay: Beautiful isn't it?
Six: It is efficient.
Havoc: You've got the Hansen complex, bad.
Six: The Hansen complex?
Havoc: It affects former Borg. All they can think about is efficiency. It's named after Annika Hansen.
Six: Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct to Unimatrix zero-one? I remember her.. she was quite efficient.
Havoc: You see?
Six: And what are you? You don't exhibit Vulcan characteristics.
Havoc: What?
McKay: Are you Vulcan?
Havoc: Half. The other half is human.
Ceil: And thank goodness you display human characteristics. I don't think I could stand another Vulcan.
Ramon: Captain, the anomaly is collapsing!
Ceil: (carelessly) Oh, let it. As long as you're monitoring it, Tanya.
Ramon: No- that's strange.
Ceil: What is?
Ramon: It's opening up again!
Ceil: What an anomaly! (McKay has left. Saavik enters) Inspector Saavik.
Saavik: (stands at the back of the bridge) Perhaps it is time you introduced me to your officers.
Ceil: (sighs) All senior staff, report to bridge.
Saavik: Starfleet regulations compel me to inform you that your senior officers should include..
Ceil: I know. ( officers straggle in as Saavik makes circuit of bridge)
Saavik: Name and station.
Ceil: Captain Cecelia Lastufka of the U.S.S. Hyperion. (grins ) Human, despite what you may think.
T'Roc: Commander T'Roc, first officer.
Six: One of Six, chief engineer.
McKay: Tactical officer Ensign Rosalynn McKay.
Ramon: Lieutenant Tanya Ramon, Science officer and martial artist.
Chandra: Chief Medical officer, Lieutenant Raj Chandra at your service. I hate space travel.
Saavik: Why is that, Doctor?
Chandra: Space flight leads to crises. I hate crises.
Saavik: (raises eyebrow) And yet you travel in space as a career.
Chandra: Where my herbal remedies go, I follow.
Saavik: How irrational.
Chandra: Would you like some ginseng tea?
Saavik:(ignores him) Commander T'Roc, how do you explain Captain Lastufka's fascination for changing facial features?
T'Roc: I personally find it fascinating. It adds another dimension to her personality. ( off camera while Saavik is talking to Chandra)
Saavik: Lieutenant Chandra, have you any cause to believe that Captain Lastufka has mental problems?
Chandra: As of now, Captain Lastufka is in perfect health. Of course, I can't say anything for the future...
Six: Dr. Chandra is a confirmed pessimist.
Chandra: No, indeed.
Six: You're not?
Chandra: I am thoroughly optimistic about remaining pessimistic. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a sickbay to clean.
Ceil: To clean?
Chandra: Some of your crew, Captain, have had the space-sickness. (exits, Ceil grins and changes to imitate him).
Six: Captain, if you will look at the screen. (she looks and gasps. Hyperion is being pulled into the black hole.)
Ceil: Helm, get us away! (camera away from Six)
Ramon: It changed its composition! A quasar, rapidly becoming a black hole! Captain, if we could go through, with sensors on, we'd make history!
Ceil: No. (Ramon leaves to go to lab. Six is shown again)
Anderson: I can't get her out! The gravitational force is too great!
Ceil: Don't you have any of your test pilot tricks to use?
Anderson: They won't work - I've been trying.
Ceil: Keep us out as long as you can.
McKay: The gravitational pull is caused by a very dense collapsed star. If we could shoot it..
Ceil: It wouldn't work.
Six: (with visuals) Our shields are enhanced. With a little tweaking, they could become efficient protectors...
Ceil: Get on it. Anderson, give her as much time as possible.
Anderson: I'm trying!!

Act Two, Scene One Bridge. T'Roc, Ceil as Ramon, McKay, and Havoc

Ceil: Mr. Havoc, take the communications console.
Havoc: Yes, ma'am!
T'Roc: Captain, it is illogical to try to go through a black hole.
Ceil: You should've learned by now that humans aren't logical. But that doesn't stop me from trying. (pushed button) Engineering, how's it going?
Six: The modifications are complete.
Ceil: Good.
T'Roc: The Vulcan Science Directorate has deemed travel through black holes impossible.
Ceil: (changes to T'Roc ) The Vulcan Science Directorate can go jump in the lake. (Changes back to Ramon ) Ensign Anderson, do your best to keep us away. We don't want to go in too fast.
(Visuals: Hyperion "spaghettis" out, goes through and bounces into shape. Cut to Bridge. People fall all over the place. Lights blink, view screen blanks.)
McKay: Captain! Ship approaching!
Ceil: Are our shields up?
McKay: Yes, ma'am.
Ceil: T'Roc, get the viewscreen up. Havoc... (screen shows Hyperion II ) What on earth?
Havoc: We're being hailed. On screen. (Ceil 2 appears, sitting, with T'Roc 2 )
Ceil 2: This is Captain Cecelia Lastufka of the starship Hyperion. (grins) What's up, Ceil? (Ceil stands up)
Ceil: (tightly) Identify yourself.
McKay 2: (comes into view, laughs evilly) But she just did, Captain Lastufka!
McKay: It's a parallel universe, Captain!
T'Roc 2: Moreover, the Vulcan Science Directorate has deemed that a person cannot coexist with himself. To that effect, we must obey the laws of physics... and destroy you. (holds up hand in backward greeting) Live shortly.. and die! (screen changes to Hyperion 2 firing, which unleashes a bolt that envelopes camera.)

Scene Two, Bridge. Saavik, Ceil, Havoc, T'Roc.

Saavik: Starfleet regulation states that a Starfleet ship may not fire at another, when other Starfleet personnel are aboard.
T'Roc. Inspector Saavik, logic dictates that Starfleet regulations do not apply in another universe. (They glare at each other...if Vulcans can do that)
Ceil: (as Six) Commander T'Roc.
T'Roc: Ma'am?
Ceil: If they want a fight, we'll give it to them. McKay.
McKay: Captain?
Ceil: Evasive maneuvers. But take out their weapons and shields. Engineering (pushes button) prepare to beam their Captain aboard when their shields are down.
Six: Aye, Captain.

Scene Three Hyperion 2 bridge. Ceil 2, Ramon 2, McKay 2.

Ceil 2: Why aren't their shields down? Ensign McKay?
McKay 2: (snaps) I'm working on it! Their shields are stronger that I thought! (ship shakes) Uhhhh!
Ceil 2: You heard me, McKay! Take them out! (thought occurs) Tanya, how has your work with our friends been coming along?
Ramon 2: We're almost ready, Captain. (sniggers) The Exodus weapon will make us the masters of the galaxy!!
Ceil 2: (grins insanely) And everyone else will have to cooperate- or EXIT! Could you use some test subjects? ( Ramon 2 and McKay 2 laugh)
Glob: Lieutenant.... Raaammmonnnn... annnd Iii... woullld be glaaadd ... for test subjectssssss.
Ceil 2: 8 test subjects coming right up. (laughs)

Scene 4. Shot of ships firing, the Hyperion puts 2 torpedoes in. Bridge. Ceil, McKay, T'Roc, Havoc, Saavik.

McKay: Yes!! Got 'em! Their shields are down, Cap'n!(Does victory dance.)
Ceil: Take out their dedicated tactical generators.
T'Roc: (pushes button) Bridge to One of Six. Lock on to the hostile ship's bridge and beam them up.
Six: Commencing transport. ( pauses) Bridge, be advised that they are - (stops abruptly)
T'Roc: Six? Is there something wrong?
Six:(pauses) Everything is fine.
Ceil: Commander, take a security squad to the transporter room.
T'Roc: (gets up, taps commbadge) T'Roc to Security squad Delta (hear door swish open) meet me- ( T'Roc backs into center of bridge, walking backward, Ceil 2 walks forward with a phaser pointed at T'Roc's head. Camera focuses on Ceil 2, T'Roc 2, and McKay 2, who is just in camera range. All of Crew 2 have drawn phasers)
Ceil 2: Aren't you a little late, Commander?
Ceil: (leaps out of chair) not for- (T'Roc 2 points phaser at her)
T'Roc 2: It would be inadvisable to move- or talk, Captain Lastufka. ( Saavik, who has been keeping quiet behind Ceil 2, Spock shocks T'Roc 2. McKay is off camera. Ceil 2 shoots Saavik. Havoc screams.)
Ceil 2: As you can clearly see, Ceil, we have the guns.(hits commbadge) Lastufka to Hyperion.
Ramon 2: Hyperion here.
Ceil 2. Tanya, where would a good place for a test be?
Ramon 2: There's a nebula a couple of lightyears away. That would be ideal.
Ceil 2: (laughs) Lock tractor beams on this ship and take her into it.
Ramon 2: Yes ma'am! (sniggers)
Ceil 2: Carry on, Lieutenant. Oh, beam over a few security teams, and some engineering people - we need to take their engines and weapons off line. (giggles) Permanently. Lastufka out.
McKay 2: Captain, you and your friends are confined to your quarters. Have fun waiting for the Exodus weapon!
McKay: The WHAT?
Ceil 2: The Exodus weapon, ensign - it'll only make us rulers of the galaxy!

Act Three, Scene One One of Six's regeneration thing.

Six: (sticks her tubules into something) Computer, begin regeneration. (Computer beeps. pause. Communicator beeps. Takes tubules out) One of Six.
Chandra: This is Lieutenant Chandra. Any ideas on getting out?
Six: I have not considered that option.
Chandra: I hate this. No access to my herbal remedies! By the way, Inspector, are you all right?
Saavik: Yes.
Six: Perhaps Commander T'Roc will have a suggestion. Err.. what is that noise, Commander?
T'Roc: It is a song by an old Earth singing group called the Beetles.
Ceil: (grins) Listening t'rock and roll?
T'Roc: I find it an …invigorating…aid to meditation. Logically, captain, the only way to gain complete control of the ship is from the bridge.
Ceil: That's not an option, First.
Havoc: Is this being monitored? The computer will log it.
Six: I did not know we had a communications officer. Intership communication will be the least of our worries.
T'Roc: Any move will need to be preceded by bringing the warp core back online.
Six: An impossible task. I'm accessing the computer logs; it records that the core was jettisoned and then detonated.
Ceil: To add to that, I'll remind you that this ship is swarming with our parallel...doubles.
Ramon: I just love this! Y'know, I thought this was going to be a simple little mission - I was going to pass the time by running the Shaolin temple simulation, work on my flying kicks, but no...
Chandra: The holodeck! That's it!
Ceil: (puzzled) Doctor? Ummm.. are you all right?
Chandra: It's quite simple, Captain. We run the bridge program, but I'm sure our brilliant crew can program the weapons and impulse engines to respond to holographic commands.
Ramon: It's crazy.
McKay: It might work!
T'Roc: We do not have any other options.
Ceil: All right, crew. Listen up. You do have weapons in your rooms, I think there are guards outside our doors. Open the door, shoot the guard, quick as you can. Meet in Holodeck One, that's base of operations. Ready?
Ramon and T'Roc: Aye.
Ceil: Go!

Scene Two Corridor of Hyperion.

(T' Roc 2 is walking down corridor. Saavik comes up behind, spins her around)
Saavik :Commander, there is a multi-legged insect on your shoulder. Allow me..(Spock shock. T'Roc 2 drops.)
(McKay walks down corridor, phaser drawn. Ramon looks around corner, sees T'Roc 2, rolls, kicks phaser out of hand, hits under jaw. T'Roc drops. Goes on.)
(T' Roc walks down corridor, almost bumps into Six 2, who readies tubules)

Six 2: What do you think you are doing, inspector?
T' Roc : Juggling. (Throwing move, Six 2 looks upT'Roc beans her over the head with phaser. Six 2 drops.)
(Havoc meets Ceil 2, wordlessly rolls into her and kicks her legs. She goes down, Havoc runs away, she jumps up screaming "Security! He's out, he's out!" but gets shot by offstage Havoc.)

Scene Three Holodeck bridge. T'Roc, Ceil, Saavik, and Havoc

T'Roc: Impulse engines are online.
Ceil: Good. Where are we?
T'Roc: Six has not yet completed the data links. (Ramon and McKay dash in, panting, collapse in chairs.)
McKay: Shootout all the way here. I changed the security codes, they won't get in here anytime soon.
T'Roc: Are the sensors up, Lieutenant?
Ramon: Yes. Six is finishing the data links. They've tractored us to a nebula.
McKay: Recommend destroying them as soon as weapons are up, ma'am!
T'Roc: Such action might detonate this "Exodus weapon."
Six: (entering) Captain, data links complete. (Goes to station) I have found out more about this weapon.
Saavik: Good. Report. I may be able to be of some help; I have experienced the Genesis weapon.
Six: It has been built in collaboration with species 0781, who resemble amorphous shapes. The weapon resembles species 0781. (brings up schematic) The weapon is actually a silicon-based lifeform that violently extracts energy from its host. In short, a parasite. It may be used on a person, or several may be released onto a ship or planet.
Saavik: I would like to inform the other ship that Starfleet forbids the transportation of harmful lifeforms- such as this Exodus creature.
Ceil: Boy, my counterpart would get it from the Admiral. And she thought I was bad.
Havoc: But why would they want to drag us into a nebula?
Six: The extraction is extremely exothermic.
Havoc: So we explode! Wow! Boom! Bang! (T'Roc frowns at him)
T'Roc: Mr. Havoc, you will have to learn to control your emotional outbursts.
Havoc: I'm not a Vulcan!
Ceil: If we're quite finished with this pleasant conversation, you'll notice that the other crew is leaving.
Ramon: Captain, I'm getting fluctuating sensor readings!
Ceil: Six, are you sure the data links are solid?
Six: Absolutely, Captain.
Ramon: There's something starting to pull us, and it's not the other ship! Their tractor beams are off!
Ceil: I can't see anything.
T'Roc: Logic dictates the presence of another black hole.
Ceil: Shields, McKay.
McKay: They're not linked in; I'll have to go to the bridge!
Ceil: Let's go, they're off the ship! (All exit)

Scene Four Bridge. All

Havoc: (points to green things on floor) Cap'n, look!
Ceil: Shoot it!
McKay: (shoots) Did you see that? It ate my phaser bolt! (All look at each other, freeze. Pause.)
Ramon: The Exodus weapon. (Camera zooms in on wiggling blob)

Act Four, Scene One. Hyperion 2 bridge. Ceil 2, T'Roc 2, McKay 2, Glob

T'Roc 2: Transport complete.
Ceil 2: Back us off slightly. I've been looking forward to this for a long time.
McKay 2: But what if they fix their ship? It'll be about half an hour before we see anything.
Ceil 2: They'd have to be superhuman to do that. Although that little kid was running around - he shot me! You know, I'm glad he's a test subject. (Snickers.) Although if I had him in front of me right now - (laughs evilly)
McKay 2: He'd be wishing he was back with the Exodus weapon! (Laughs.)
Glob: Iiii am allllso…. looking forrrrward to this….. tesssssst. (Jiggles wildly.)

Scene Two Hyperion bridge

Ceil: Everybody stay away from it!
Ramon: Captain, they're all over the ship!
McKay: Our speed toward the black hole is increasing. (slaps commbadge) Mr. Anderson, report to the bridge.
Havoc: Look, the big blob is eating the little one!
Ramon: It's not eating it, they're blending together. (checks console) Look, captain, it's happening all over the ship.
Little blobs racing toward the big ones and … melding.
Havoc: Let's make a big blob! All the little ones will go toward it.
Six: We are suffering a constant loss of energy. It is imperative that the weapon be removed if we are to live.
Ceil: (thoughtfully) A big blob…. Six, could you simulate a huge blob in the holodeck?
Six: Aye.
McKay: And then what? They all go into the holodeck, but they're still on the ship.
Anderson: (enters) Captain?
Ceil: Keep us away from the black hole. Ramon will give you the coordinates, you know the drill.
Anderson: Again?!!!
Ceil: Just do it. Six, get on the holodeck thing.
Six: Ready, captain. Holodeck One doors opening.
Ceil: Is it working, Ramon?
Ramon: Gradually.
Ceil: McKay, can the shields stand going through the hole again?
McKay: Yes, ma'am, but do we know where it leads?
Ceil: You let me worry about that. Six, beam the whole holodeck, blob and all, out of this ship, once all of the organisms in the holodeck.
Six: I estimate one minute. Where shall I beam them to?
Ceil: (grins) The other ship.
McKay: Captain!
Six: Still steady power loss.
Ceil: Anderson, do your best to stay away from the hole until I give the word. McKay, ready with the tractor beams.(McKay looks like she will protest.) That's an order, ensign!
Six: Commencing holodeck transport. I must say that this is efficient - to a point, captain.
Ceil: Oooo! A compliment! McKay, lock tractor beams on the other ship.
McKay: Done, ma'am. Shields up and ready.
Six: Transferring most available power to tractors and shields.
Ceil: Mr. Anderson? Take us in. McKay, loose the tractor beams on my command.
(Visual of ship elongating) Now, McKay! (Visual of Hyperion 2 disintegrating, Hyperion rubberbands through. Show bridge, people fall all over the place.)
McKay: Captain! Ship approaching!
Ceil: Again?
McKay: No need to worry, Captain! It's just a freighter. (she exits)
Ceil: Freighter? Like, a Federation freighter? Whoopee!!!
Havoc: Ya mean we're home? In our own universe? (Ceil and all the humans grin.)
Saavik: I hate to spoil such a joyous occasion, but Captain Lastufka should remember that Starfleet regulations have been completely ignored. (silence) She has disregarded all logic, destroyed her ship, killed herself, and all aboard but I and my nephew have been killed at her hands. (more lightly) She's also saved a universe, but Admiral Hamilton will disregard such trivia. (All laugh, choke, roll on the floor, what ever, repeating, "killed her crew, destroyed her ship" etc.)
Ceil: (giggling) I didn't know you were capable of that.
(Visual of ship going off)

Scene Three Visual of ship, then bridge.

Havoc: Message from the admiral. Captain Lastufka has a ship assignment.
(All hold breath)
Ramon: Where? What ship?
T'Roc: (Looks over shoulder) The U.S.S. Hyperion.

THE END
Copyright 2004 Arin Lastufka, all rights reserved worldwide.